This may just look like an apple crisp to you but as I pulled it from the oven in my house that smells like heaven all I see is a story of all this beautiful yet simple dessert represents to me.

Two weeks ago I took my sons to the orchard to pick apples, something we used to do as a family when they were small. One of the things you miss when your family disintegrates in divorce. I didn’t know we would pick apples together on this day but the memory of the laughter among the trees dripping with fruit fills me up with everything I need. And so these apples are full of love and laughter.

As I stood peeling the apples I couldn’t help but think of my own childhood, picking apples and watching my mother peel them to make the same dessert for us. Maybe my dad was there but probably he wasn’t, that’s what divorce did to us too. But apple picking was one of the fun memories we had of him. The end of that story is that love heals all. I learned so much just watching my mother. I watched her peel apples with a small pairing knife, she refused to do it any other way. She was fast and efficient, always getting the job done like a single mother of three learns to do. Funny, my sister and I peel apples the very same way. I always loved to watch my mother cook. She was and still is amazing in the kitchen and I took every opportunity I could as a child growing up to practice what I had learned. I wanted so much to be just like her.

This apple crisp started out in a bigger pan, there weren’t enough apples to fill it so I switched. My mother bought me this pan years ago, I left most things behind when my marriage ended but I took this pan. It’s one of a set of two and I never get to use the small one. It’s the perfect size for today. Thank you mom for giving me the perfect size dish!

I had butter on my shopping list today, I forgot to buy it. I had a stick of maple butter from months ago lingering in the back of the fridge. I improvised and used it. Life lesson, not having the right ingredient just may lead you to find the BEST ingredient!

Pleasure is found in the little things. I baked this for someone I love. He works so hard and I want him to come in from outside and be filled with warmth knowing someone has his back and his belly. It’s the best I have to offer but I think, just maybe, it’s everything.

So today my house smells like heaven. It’s my new home with him and it’s full of sugar and love and remnants of the past blending into a beautiful future.