Where Does Your Darkness Lie?

Where does your darkness lie? Is it in the loss of words when you need to speak your mind. Is it in the thoughts that escape when you try to relate to the word around you? Is it in the dream you feel paralyzed to embrace? Is it in the hopes of your mismanaged self when you know there should be time for more but the thickness of the air stops you from reaching any further.

When darkness comes it is within us to retreat back into the familiar place of uncertainty and escape into fear. Who are we to rise above when the smallness within feels so big?

When darkness comes it is our past recoveries that can save us from ourselves. It is a reference of all we have achieved before and the pain the we have overcome that allows us to count our victories.

When darkness hovers near we are being watched by all who have succumb to its depth and need to believe in something other than the abyss into which they fall. Pay attention to the eyes upon you and be what is possible.

When the light is blinding the darkness feels safe. The fall, full of fear, is also touched by the bliss of release but in the end it’s the landing that hurts.

I see your light and it is so much bigger than your dark. Reach up and know that all the light that surrounds you can save you if you just believe in something bigger. Your safety relies on it. Your journey is intent on it and your capacity to grow bigger is fuelled by it.

Where does your darkness lie? It lies within all of us and so do does your light.

Once Upon A Time

Just BE

Once upon a time I was just me.

I didn’t have to tweet it, share it or take a picture of it.

I didn’t have to believe I was any more or less than I was and I certainly didn’t have to convince anyone else of it.

I wasn’t photoshopped, filmed, managed or mocked.

I didn’t need your approval nor was I addicted to your likes.

I didn’t check on the progress of my post or rely on your views to feel seen.

I moved through my life with the ease of knowing I may not be seen and I didn’t need to be.

The world had only two eyes and they were mine.

Those eyes looked into the face of others when we passed on the street, they saw the leaves blowing on the trees and the falling snow as it lightly landed on my eyelashes.

I walked with my head held high and I didn’t think about posting the beautiful scenery around me.

Once upon a time life was real and each moment simply passed without the need to capture it on a screen.

Once upon a time I was just me and you were just you and there was no need for our paths to criss cross multiple times throughout the day.

We didn’t need to survey and compare who we are and where each event in our life was leading us because once upon a time we simply lived for the joy of being and not the constant distraction of trying to be.

Xoxo

Accept Yourself

meadow“Accept everything about yourself — I mean everything, you are you and that is the beginning and the end — no apologies, no regrets.” ~Clark Moustakas
Acceptance of oneself is a life learned lesson. Is it just with age that we come to realize we have struggled so long for the acceptance of others yet the lack was within our own hearts?
We set our sights high upon the mountain of self-discovery seeking a view that eludes us no matter how high we climb. We refused to linger for long in the meadows of awareness amongst the simplicity of the breeze and the flowers and the billowing grass that whispers to us of the beauty all around.
It is in that place where our heart speaks of the love we shared and the difference we made and the lives we touched yet we were too busy climbing to hear.
I have been buried in my basement unpacking boxes filled with remnants from my past for the past two day. I moved 6 months ago but lacked the motivation to organize and make sense of the chaos within the now damp cardboard. Scattered piles of papers and paraphernalia that have been rummaged through and displaced for the past 4 ½ years as I traveled through my life like a gypsy searching for a home.
I came upon a large unopened manila envelope full of handmade cards from a class room of children who came to my gym, Range of Motion, on a field trip shortly before I could no longer call it my gym. I remember the day vaguely as I opened my facility to the younger generation trying to impress upon them the value of health and fitness but most of all fun. I was still teaching Zumba at that time and without going into now realizing the number of lives I touched with that program alone, I am reminded of the impact that one hour had on those kids. I stood in my damp basement with tears streaming down my face so grateful for the messages held within these beautiful hand crafted works of art. Things like “#1 Dance Instructor” LOL! And “Range of Motion You Rock!” But the best was “I enjoyed using the machines and challenging myself and pushing myself to try harder” Signed “Bill (the tall boy)”.
I knew on a surface level that I was making a difference but I never appreciated the value of the acceptance of those whose lives I was touching.

Years ago, when asked “who did I want to be?” I replied “I want to be ‘THAT’ girl. You know, the one who arrives at the party and realizes upon seeing the smiles and hearing the exuberant greetings all around her that her arrival was anticipated by all. The girl who lights up the room and spreads a positive feel good attitude.” I had really big dreams huh? And then I got busy being busy and I didn’t notice while I climbed that my little piece of the meadow was whispering to me and through the eyes of these children I had arrived at the party and I was accepted by all.

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Qualities Of A Leader

the-leadership-in-meI understand your struggles because I’ve struggled myself. When searching for a leader or a mentor look for someone who understands the journey you are on; someone who understands where you’ve been and where you are going and who can guide you through experience how to get there.

We all need an example of possibility to follow on the days when we lack the confidence to believe in our ability to traverse the path we have chosen. Not every day is filled with smiles and gratitude and positivity. Some days are downright drudgery and the demons are nipping at your heels to drag you down and pull you off course. Self-doubt runs rampant through your mind and the piercing question “who do you think you are?” simply won’t stop ravaging your conscience thought.
Search for someone to align yourself with who is not just talking the talk and hiding behind smoke and mirrors. Look for a leader who represents tenacity and strength in the face of their own struggles and has the ability to truly see YOU and not just your problems.

I am about to publish a novel that will blow away any ideals you may have that I don’t understand because I haven’t been there. Maybe I’m not exactly where you are but I do know what it takes to make the best of a very bad situation. I do know what it means to cry alone in the dark feeling like the saddest person in the world. I know how it feels to struggle with confidence and self-esteem, heartbreak, fear and self-doubt.

I used to think that being a leader meant telling people what to do and having them do it. I now know that true leaders inspire greatness not with their words but with their actions. When I lose my way I look to those who inspire me and my wish for you is that you find and surround yourself with brilliant leaders who have one goal, and that’s to help you be the very best you can be.

Success Is A Mindset

note-to-self-stay-focused

I try to hold a higher ground of positivity through most of my life. This is a learned behavior but I still struggle a lot. When I have a positive and healthy attitude towards life I’m generally pretty happy but not necessarily on the fast track to success. That’s because success is a mindset and my problem is focus. I know it and I readily admit it. My problem is also, without sounding inflated or arrogant, I’m generally pretty good at most things I do and I have many, many interests. I want to do it all before I die and I want to do it now! In order to find true success you must set your mind on one thing and stay focused on it until you have reached your highest level of accomplishment before moving on.
This is difficult for a creative mind with a tendency towards attention deficit. Ideas are literally exploding out of me on a regular basis and I find it so difficult to pick just one. So I have sat down to write out a business plan called “Sheila Corneil Inc.” and it involves answering some important questions:

  1. Who am I?
  2. Why am I here?
  3. What am I best at and always have been?
  4. What behaviors do I portray that people most respond to in a positive way?
  5. What comes easiest to me?
  6. When am I happiest?
  7. What people motivate and inspire me?
  8. What traits do I most admire in others?
  9. What brings me peace?
  10. If there were 5 words people would use to describe me after I’m gone what would they be?
  11. What does my ideal lifestyle look like?
  12. If my children asked my advice on how to live a meaningful life what would I tell them?

To set your mind on what it is that will bring you true success you first must understand who you are and what drives you so passionately that you will be able to stick with the plan long after the initial burst of inspiration has fizzled and dried up. If you take the time to answer all of the above you will have clear insight on what matters most to you. These things lie at the foundation of your life’s purpose. Choose a lofty goal or aspiration for your future that fulfills all of the above but makes you a little bit scared. Set your mind on it and stay focused. Once you have achieved it you will have the means, the lifestyle and the people to allow you to try all those other things on your list.
Best of luck now get to work on your plan!